Mitt Romney, goes after Newt Gingrich for consulting with a company that Mitt doesn't like. Repeatedly. Publicly. He says Newt should give the money back. Ok, that's weird. All the time I'm thinking "Does Mitt realize he's speaking out against capitalism?" Seems like a weird thing for Mitt to go after Newt for. Then Newt responds by saying he'll give his money back as soon as Mitt gives back the money he made at Bain Capital for profiting on liquidating companies. Nobody can point out the absurd like Newt. By making an absurd comment he clearly pointed out the absurdity of Mitt's comment. What do you mean he didn't? Isn't it obvious? Then the commentary starts. How can these people act like Newt was seriously asking Mitt to return his money without busting out laughing?. Then Charles Krauthammer jumps into the fray. Finally someone with a brain. He accuses Newt of making a left wing attack at the heart of capitalism. Charles Krauthammer? Being really, really dim? What planet did I wake up on?
Then there was the recent debate. Rick Perry jumps on Mitt over changing the content in his book regarding individual healthcare mandates. Mitt denies it, Perry doubles down. Mitt asks Perry to put his money where his mouth is with a $10,000 bet. Perry runs away and hides. Not so confident now, huh? So I'm thinking Perry really came out on the short end of that. Then after the debate the commentator starts talking about how out of touch Mitt seems for making such a huge bet. While I'm containing my belly laugh at this silly commentator I'm thinking of the times I've said "I'll bet you a million bucks!!!!". What a goof. Then the next day that's the story. The story is everywhere; radio, internet, TV. Perry gets his chops busted for being, as it turns out, dead wrong about what was in the book, and it's a big problem for Mitt Romney?
My favorite spin of the whole season has to be the Bachmann/Santorum tag team match against Gingrich over immigration in recent days. In September it would have been the Bachmann/Santorum/Gingrich tag team match against nobody, but that's ancient history now. Yeah, September is when Newt first responded to an immigration question in a debate. Everybody remembers how Santorum went directly for Newt's throat with that vicious retort;
Well, my solution is very similar to Newt Gingrich's.Ouch! That's going down in debate history as a contender for best slap-down of all time. Newt hadn't even stopped reeling from that blow when Santorum let lose with the next salvo;
MODERATOR: So there are 11 million people that -- fait accompli. They're here. What do you do with them if you are able to secure the border?Newt's isolation almost complete, and then comes Bachmann;
SANTORUM: Well, I think we can have the discussion, that whether what we do with people, how long they've been here, whether they had other types of records.
MODERATOR: The fence is built, the border is under control. What do you do with 11.5 million people who are here without documents and with U.S.- born children?It's pretty tough to see Newt "taken into place" like that. In the context of things we have seen in this primary race it doesn't even seem odd to speculate that Santorum and Bachmann have both been abducted by aliens (probably illegal) and replaced with pretty darn good replicas. Those replicas need to go back and watch the tapes of the September debate. A little background research is always a good idea before replacing Presidential primary candidates with alien doppelgangers.
BACHMANN: Well, that's right. And again, it is sequential, and it depends upon where they live, how long they have been here, if they have a criminal record. All of those things have to be taken into place.
And have you heard the one about Ron Paul? He may actually do well in Iowa. (rimshot!)
It just gets a little more weird every day. You can't make this stuff up. Don't I wish I had...
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