Barack's Iranian Poll Dance

Barack Obama saw his options for keeping the door open for improved relations with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's regime in Iran dwindle on Tuesday in the face of increasing state-side alarm over the draconian measures being used against protesters in Tehran. Our President is walking the thin line of moral relativism between leaving the avenues of diplomacy open with an influential state in the middle east and assuring a brutal dictator that the US will not "meddle" in his affairs. After days of dipping his toes into the pool of public opinion, and trying really, really hard not to cause any ripples that might disturb Mahmoud, Obama was swamped with a wave of public opinion as polls began to show that both Democrats and Republicans were almost universally united in their support for condemning Ahmadinejad. Obama immediately responded to his concerned constituents by changing his vote from "present" to "present and kind of irritated that this whole hunger for democracy thing in Iran is screwing up my plans to have tea with Mahmoud".

Also on Tuesday, Britain expelled two Iranian diplomats in retaliation for Iran's expulsion of two British diplomats on charges of espionage. PM Gordan Brown said Iran's allegations against his diplomats were "absolutely without foundation". Meanwhile, back in America Barack Obama struggled with the weighty issue of how to keep the door open for Iranian diplomats to take part in the White house 4th of July picnic. But the American president took on a new tone on Wednesday and began to seriously consider withdrawing his 4th of July picnic invitation to the Iranian contingent when news of a tragic massacre in Tehran began to spread across the airwaves. When Ahmadinejad got word of Obama's growing ire he immediately stopped what he was doing and said "Barack who?".

We've had a pretty wide variety of Presidents in the United States. Regardless of their ideology, most of our Presidents have taken their roles as apologists for freedom and democracy pretty seriously. In modern times the notable exception to this is Jimmy Carter. Even so, the contempt that Obama has for this role stands in a class by itself. Obama's statements about the 'arrogance' of America are not mere rhetoric. He truly believes that it is uncouth for America to step out in front and assert her views. Who are we, after all, to tell a brutal dictator that we don't approve of him stealing an election and oppressing his people.

There is a real danger in the Obama doctrine of 'non-meddling'. Our enemies and petty despots around the world will be emboldened by the knowledge that our bag of carrots contains no sticks. Our allies will operate under a new uncertainty about America's commitment to them. The wretched subjects of oppressive regimes will quail in the realization that they are alone and without support. Maybe we can at least save some money on our electric bill for turning out that light. You know, the one Reagan told us about. The one that used to shine on the hill.